It is pretentious to hear a sound and announce the sound is there

Learn to read hard.

Because I am writing hard. I can’t write like most people do, not well. I can think hard, and deep, but I am not articulate. Which is why when something like this pours onto paper, it is in a format that may clog your optic nerve. That is why when I write something like this, it must not only be a book to read, but a book on how to read the book you are reading (how silly!).

To commence reading you must understand a few things:

1. For the purpose of this book, everything is made up of vibrating strings. Your uncle is strings, your grandmother is strings, light is strings, parsecs are strings, and guitar strings are strings. The speed at which these strings vibrate determines their properties (basic string theory). In this way we can measure every property of every object in one spectrum: frequency. She loved him at 400 Hz, he fucked her at 880 Hz, he released his bowels at 40 MHz (that’s a lot of hertz, he should get that checked out).

2. Everything perceived is a verb. When looking at the world this way this fact is quite clear. Her eyes were not blue, he perceived them as blue. Her eyes were radiating light at 450 GHz. Of course it would butcher the English language to write it in that format, but it is important to take note of it.

3. Keep in mind that this can most likely be disproven, that doesn’t mean you should go off and work out how to disprove it, you will not enjoy the book nearly as much.

4. People are subject to random physical changes. A reckless disregard for the laws of physics shall be present in this book, mainly because it is more entertaining for me and you. Do not be dissatisfied with the serious and intellectual nature of the content though, there will be meaning behind every word (even if it is not apparent to you).

5. I have no idea what I’m going to write about, but with these five precepts it will most likely be something. I am going to begin by naming well thought out chapter ideas, these will be the building blocks.

I will begin later because I am tired. Here is the first chapter title, you may read it, though when I begin writing again, it will most likely change:

1.

The Town That Did Not Hear